On Learning Vulnerability

I don't like looking foolish. 

I go to great lengths to avoid it. But unfortunately I was gifted with a large dose of naivety and gullibility which often works against my anti-foolish campaign.

Friendly foolish is different than failure foolish. When I fail at something big (like relating badly, costing someone lots of time or money), I feel especially vulnerable. My instinct is to try to hide it or better yet, blame someone else. 

In those moments I'm caught at a crossroads, I must attempt to lie my way out or put down my armor and get real honest.

I wish I could say I always chose the latter; I don't. I find myself wanting to take the easier way out. But I've been practicing vulnerability (as Brene Brown says) and learning how to de-activate the walls that spring up in the moment of naked truth.

When I feel that surge of panic, the "I'm going to die if someone sees the real me" feeling, I stop. Then take a breath and ask myself what's going on.

Most often the root of my terror is based in old lies.

The lies of "I'm not good enough" "No one will love me" or "I will never be understood or listened to".  All of those lies get bigger when I believe them. But when I'm able to address it and trace it back to one of these wrong beliefs, I can start telling the truth. I am good enough. I am loved. I am understood and listened to.

But I still have to face consequences of disappointing the people I've failed. 

I have to take ownership of my wrong choices. I have to realize the ones I disappointed might even choose to leave me.

But to believe that I will never be good enough or loved, or understood or listened to is a big jump from disappointing someone.

So I am practicing vulnerability. 

It has been excruciatingly hard, but I'm learning the more I do it, the less hard it is to do. I'm finding that being vulnerable when I fail helps to heal those relationships better than blame or denial. The truth is, they could see my bologna a mile away; I was fooling myself to think otherwise.

Vulnerability is beautiful because it offers an open hand of relationship to someone, allowing them to take it, and honestly...it's totally worth the risk.

What do you think, is vulnerability worth it?

Peach Yogurt and Strawberry Popsicles

Peaches and summer go hand in hand. Mom used to make a die-for-delicious peach homemade ice-cream that was a staple of summer. Since I'm not an ice-cream maker, I thought I'd add peach to a popsicle creation.

I love Greek yogurt so I started with peach yogurt, although you could add fresh peaches to vanilla yogurt if you wanted (yum!). 

I added strawberries because peaches and strawberries are a heavenly pair.

I allowed the popsicles to sit overnight till good and frozen. If you're wondering, yes, I had one for breakfast; hey, it's YO-GURT. Plus, I knew once the kids saw them, they'd be gone, so I grabbed while the getting was good.

Do you have a favorite popsicle flavor or recipe?

Mini-Style: 7 items, 12 outfits

Looking at the photo above, you might be thinking there were more items in the second summer capsule post and that there should be 25 outfits.

You would be right, I said I would have 25 outfits and I was promptly reminded of why I shouldn't promise anything that I don't already have finished.

My sister and I set aside time for photographing outfits. It was perfect. We got it all done in record time!

Then I got home and perfect disappeared.

Somewhere between her house and mine, half of the photos on my memory card got lost. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the operator *coughs*.

So sadly, today I only have 12 outfits to show you instead of the planned 25. It's the thought that counts, right? *Cheshire cat smile* If you'd like to see June's mini-style (which DID have 25 outfits) go here.

This month's set was a more casual grouping but I knew that's how I'd want it in July, simple and breezy.


Last week my kids were with Grandparents for their yearly "cousin camp"; so my brother, sister and I got together for "sibling camp". We had a lot of fun catching up and hanging out! I came back rejuvenated and inspired to paint ~ these girls are the result.

She was in the business of capturing stories. 

She was about to discover how courageous she could be.

She was finally at peace with herself.

I hope you enjoyed a few glimpses into my studio. What've you been up to lately?

Summer Capsule Wardrobe No. 2

For July's capsule, I added more tops since it's unlikely I'll need more than one cardigan during July. I have two skirts this go-around because I wanted a breezier variety for the bottom items. I'm reusing a few of the items I put in the last capsule because I love them and wear them often. After all, the point of this is to have less clothes and use the ones I have, right?

So here's the breakdown of what I'm wearing in July:
  • a wrap blouse
  • bohemian blouse
  • graphic t-shirt
  • comfy t-shirt
  • tie-die t-shirt
  • summer dress
  • pencil skirt
  • a-line skirt
  • shorts
  • cardigan
This is a more casual wardrobe for summer vacation because I know this is what I'll actually be wearing.

I'll post the 25 outfits from this set of 10 items on the last Friday of this month, July 25th.

Hope you're enjoying something beautiful about today! (I'm celebrating the front moving in this week, yay for lower temperatures!)