It was raining as my son and I were traveling home. Traffic was thick and I kept slamming on the breaks to keep from ramming into the car cutting in front of me. It was slow going and yet, I kept lashing us with stopping and starting.
I told my son I wish I knew how to transition better but I've always struggled to drive smoothly in this kind of traffic.
"Just cruise," he said.
"Am I doing it?" I asked.
He broke into a smile, "No."
I slowed down and moved my foot off the brake. I stopped trying to keep cars from cutting into my lane. I could feel myself relax. I often try to control the traffic around me, making everything fair - according to my supposed rules. I let one person in, but no more than two. I try to stay close to the car in front of me without letting another car in. This control was causing the neck cracking stop-start action.
As I slowed down and stopped worrying about the traffic and more about cruising, I could feel my stress fade.
"That's it," he said.
My desire to control doesn't stop with traffic and I have plenty of rules for everyone and everything around me. The stop and start of trying to make the world behave is mind-breaking. I need to let go. Leave the world to do as they will andjust cruise.
Cruising is more fun anyways.