October 15, 2012

The Fallacy of Being Right

My daughter's party was so fun! We had an adorable One Direction cake (compliments of big sister). Lots of friends, lots of food, lots of laughter and screaming (at the Haunted House). It was almost perfect. Almost...
Except for the fact that I stole some joy. I didn't intend to, I didn't set out to; but I did. Sometimes I get sidetracked with being right. And in those moments, I'm so wrong.
During the party I assumed my daughter was being cliquish. Later, I found out my assumption had been wrong. But in that moment, I thought I was right. I whispered to her about it, and a look of hurt crossed her face. I'd misjudged her. I'd assumed my perspective was right. But I had been wrong.
In moments like this, instead of caring about the person in front of me, I care more about looking knowledgeable, wise, or right.  I end up only showing my ignorance; caring more about appearances than loving.  I should have asked questions, assumed the best, and sought to understand her perspective. But I didn't.
Sometimes I get sidetracked with being right and miss the chance to love.

12 comments :

  1. Oh Catherine
    i love your honest heart
    I have so been here too
    I am so glad you faced yourself with this truth
    that is all we can do, is be honest about our own short comings
    as we all have them
    wow and then to share it here
    such courage!
    you are a good mommy

    ps that party looked fun!

    Love and Light

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    1. Such precious words, Cat, thank you. :)
      P.S. It truly was a blast!

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  2. I recognized One Direction before I read it, lol. I have a 10 year old who recently got a One Direction dvd for her birthday :) I understand this, oh so well. I get wrapped up in making every moment teachable that sometimes I don't just let my children be. Thank you for this reminder. I needed it.

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    1. Glad we're not the only family with the One Direction Infection. ;) And you're welcome. It's an ongoing lesson for me.

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  3. Catherine, your little girl is as beautiful as you are!
    Inside and Out.

    I've been there. My daughter is 16 now. I've learned, finally I think, to think before I act when it comes to imparting my wisdom, especially with her. It seems we mothers often jump to conclusions, especially with our daughters, that are based more on our own empathetic nature than the facts.

    When I mis-read a situation, I am honest about my sometimes jaundiced eye and apologize immediately. She kinda just gives me *that face* when she wants me to know... that she's in charge and everything's going to be okay, She's got this! I sure love her!

    Our little girls are growing up! I'm just trying to catch up.
    *full heart*

    You are an amazing person who, inevitably will have imperfect moments. You are forgiven. *Big Smile*

    Love!

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    1. I think it's hard to stop "helping" when we've done it so long. But I'm trying to grow up as she does, haha. Thanks for your sweet words, Scarlett!

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  4. oh friend. i love how much you care. i love that you cared about the other kids at the party, about them not feeling left out. and i love that you care about your daughter too. xo

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  5. Sweet and honest post Catherine! I've done this many times...said what I should not have...the nice things about boys is they are less sensitive than girls and they just tell you to buzz off. :)

    Your daughter is a pretty angel.

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    1. Thanks Lisa. I agree, she is a pretty angel. :)

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  6. she is gorgeous! happy birthday to her! looks like it was a blast! (such a cute cake!!)

    i love how honest you are in your posts. you always help your readers to consider how we're approaching things in our own lives.

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    1. Thank you, Kristin. Writing honestly helps me figure these things out; so I'm happy it reaches you too. :)

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