When Life Seasons Change

It's crazy to me how life can be so full of changes and yet, I crave changes in season. I'm not a person that could live where it's the same temperature all year. I need that switch. The nudge that something new is coming; the first bulb showing me that winter has ended and something different is about to begin.

This weekend felt like that to me. After grueling days of sadness, the funeral came on Friday morning. It was a beautiful celebration of one powerful life lived. I went home weary. We'd planned to go to a retreat with friends this weekend, but I found myself dragging my feet on packing. I didn't think I could switch gears, didn't know if I'd be weepy all weekend and spoil the time for everyone else.

Finally I managed it. My kids were excited we were on the road again. And as we drove up the path to where the cabins were, I stared into the forest. I grew up surrounded by trees like this. Not only was the green there to remind me things can start over after a long winter, but the white dogwood trees reminded me of something deeper.

Friday night was full of games and laughter. It was a sweet relief after all the heaviness. I went to bed early for me and slept late into the next day. Thankfully, I wasn't the only one. It was what I needed and I felt so refreshed. In the afternoon, everyone at the retreat agreed to spend two hours in silence as an experiment. I didn't realize how much I'd missed silence. Sitting under the trees listening to leaves falling and the birds chirping their songs; I felt my shoulders physically relax. The breeze seemed to hold God's breath. Something was there I hadn't expected, comfort...peace.

I found strength again. A turn of season reminding me that hope stands ahead. I don't have to rush my grief.