April 3, 2013

In the Name of Being Honest

I've been reading through Marilyn Howshall's teachings lately. One thing she says is that your fruit tells on you. Basically, you may act all sweet, nice and patient, but it's the way you act at home that really tells the truth. And as simple as that sounds, it was quite a humbling revelation to me.

I'm not all sugar and roses at home. I can be more salt and thorny. I've begun to realize that when I notice a bad attitude in my children, it can be traced back to me. For instance, when I was about to address heightened complaining among my kids; I heard the same whiny voice coming from me upon having to do the dishes or help with homework.

And it wasn't just once, I began to see a pattern of it my family. If there was a problem among my brood, it started with me. Having little honest mirrors walking around is a bit unsettling, but also motivating. Do I really want to lash out at that car in front of me and demonstrate to my children how to berate another human being? Do I really want to act like every chore is a horrendous duty I hate and exemplify ungratefulness?

No, I don't. I want to live a life full of gracious kindness and forgiving love. I want them to know that no matter what happens, they will be met with the same tender kindness. I want understanding to be my default, not accusations or blame. I'm paying attention, attempting to stop myself before I say or do something I'll regret, admitting my faults as they happen and asking forgiveness. And I hope someday my fruit will tell a good story.


PHOTOS: Sugar Scrub made and given to me by a dear friend

14 comments :

  1. Oh, my. I get this....I'm constantly horrified when I realize that they "got that" from me....but one thing is good is that it teaches grace. Grace for them, and even grace for me. Grace for you too. Thank you for sharing the hard things with us.

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    1. Yes, Brenna, definitely grace all around! I find it's easier to be compassionate when they mess up, when I'm aware of how often I do. :)

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  2. Yeah. This is so true. But I never thought about it quite like this--thanks for the insight.
    Always love to see what you re up to!

    Shelley

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    1. Sure! I always love seeing what you're up to as well, Shelley. :D

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  3. well said! it's interesting and scarey what is reflected back to us! Heather x

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    1. Yes, a bit scary, ha! Thanks Heather. :)

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  4. beautifully said Catherine
    and so true
    we are our children's biggest teachers....a huge responsibility that takes much intention and care
    I reflect on your words and see where I too have failed...miserably
    more intention is needed indeed
    thank you for the reminder today

    love and light

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    1. Agreed, a huge responsibility; thanks, Cat.

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  5. So sure. Thanks for sharing this insight.

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  6. Easier said than done sometimes. It's ok to be honest as well. Some things do rub us the wrong way. Snapping at each other, though, is never healthy.

    Play off the Page

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    1. Yeah, I agree, Mary. We can be honest about our emotions; but I think it's the way it's done that matters. Good thoughts.

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  7. It's a mother's burden and blessing, isn't it, to know our own wildly human actions are leading our kids down a path of OUR choosing. I so agree with this honesty, Catherine!

    I think my kids know that I'm not perfect. I say and do things in front of them that I sometimes regret. But I have learned to recognize, in my many years of parenting, when my actions are harmless and when they are not. Acting as a compass can be tiring (welcome to parenthood, right?) but I believe, as you must, that it pays off in the end. When I see one of my kids showing kindness to a stranger, or generosity to a sibling... I know I must be doing *something* right.

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