January 4, 2011

Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Vegans

My almost sixteen-year-old daughter decided to go vegan for the New Year.  Why?  I don't know; I love meat.  Must be from her dad's side of the family.  Nonetheless, I took her to the Whole Foods Store.  It was my first time.  (Don't throw organic eggplants at me)

I noticed something different right off.  People in a health food store actually care about what they wear.  No one matched my sweatshirt/sneaker outfit.  Two young butchers whispered behind the counter with elusive glances in our direction.  I felt like we wore blaring siren hats screeching, "Newcomers!"

Despite my lack of health-food shopping, I found the first object on the list fairly easy, veggie bacon.  (Yes I agree, seems a contradiction)  Guessing that veggie bacon might need to be refrigerated, I headed for that section.  There it was on the shelf, nodding at my genius.  From that point on, my daughter fell in line behind her all-knowing Mom.  After marking coconut oil and vegan bacon off her list, I began to get a swelled head.  I was pretty good at this. Especially for someone who'd never heard of these things before.

After an hour we'd found everything on the list except for vegan tofu. We circled the butcher block three (or three hundred) times.  My feet ached, my eyes were getting glassy.  I wondered if they hid the tofu to give you a workout while you shopped.  The butchers continued staring.  To which I reasoned they must be overcome by my beautiful, greasy-haired ringlets.  Why else would their eyes not leave the sweatshirt-clad woman and her daughter?  Someone might argue that they were looking at her NON-sweatshirt-clad-daughter.  But why would they be looking at a little girl? *Ahem*

Finally, after the other shoppers were almost family, a nice employee took pity on us.  "The vegan stuff is grouped together over here."

In case you're wondering, vegan tofu is next to veggie bacon--in the refrigerated section.


  1. *giggles*
    I love my local health food store. It's a little mom and pop place where everyone is SO helpful. They would've asked what you needed the second you walked through the door. I still eat real bacon though. And I usually don't match either, but no one seems to care. ;)

    Happy new Year!

  2. Ha ha ha! Oh, my gosh! It sounds like you had quite the experience. :-)

  3. You're fantastic for supporting her decision! I couldn't do vegan...I love cheese and eggs too much...but I am a veggie and it's great to have family support! You guys should try Field Roast Sausages(http://www.fieldroast.com/). They are delicious in spaghetti and on pizza and I like them because they don't have tofu in them...I get sick of tofu meat products. :) They're made from veggies and grain and they taste so delicious even my meat-eating father couldn't tell the difference. Mmmm...nom nom nom!

  4. We have Wegman's here and all the vegan and organic stuff is all together. Vegetarian is much easier than vegan. I add vegetarian meals into our diets now...but vegan...not gonna happen with hubby! But huge kudos to you for supporting her!!! I dread the day my daughter comes to me with something like this...that stuff is so so so expensive!!!

  5. You've ventured further into a health food store than I have. I would have never thought to look for vegan tofu there either. I had a whole foods upbringing since I grew up on a farm and we grew our own veggies, but we also eat meat. Some of it grew on the farm, too, like beef cattle and chickens. It's hard to have a strict diet like that. Good luck and happy, healthy eating!
    PS: Hope you find your new year's word!

  6. What a great mom you are!

    (but vegan bacon...ewwwww.)

    Good luck with that!


  7. Ha! 16-year-olds... go figure! I've got one of those too. :)

  8. It's nice to start the year in such a health conscious way ... When we feel good, all is well with the world! Happy New Year to you ...

  9. I've also not ventured into health food stores. You're an awesome mom... I wish you luck!!! *noms real bacon*

  10. For me vegetarians and vegans are a pain in the but but not for the reason you may think.
    Imagine this: We are on location in the middle of the Transkei (a very rural Area on the east coast of South Africa), it is late afternoon and my crew of carpenters need to be fed because we are working into the night getting ready for the next days movie shoot. Now one of them happens to be a vegetarian and the only take-aways available in Mtahta are pap and stew or fish and chips and the like, but they must all be fed. You get the picture? Vegetarians get very tired of toasted cheese and tomato sandwiches very quickly. Africa is not exactly vegan friendly except in the big cities.
    Happy new year my friend and good luck with your daughter, my only advice is don't visit the Transkei.

  11. Haha, funny story. Actually, with Magnus being allergic to dairy, I really wish there were a Whole Food in Oslo. But no such luck.

  12. I need to visit me a health food store so I can have a clear conscience when my kids beg me for treats and I give in just to stop the whining.

  13. Laughing so hard I'm snorting. Great story! Way to be a trooper for little sweet one.


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