November 6, 2009

The Set-Up

I've been thinking lately about how we set ourselves up.  I have several different "set-ups". 

When I think of my parenting skills, I compare myself to MY Mom.  She's a born organized person that keeps her house and life in great order.  Decorates for each season; takes tons of wonderful pictures; and always looks polished.  I, on the other hand, consider a room with a path to walk in clean; tennis shoes and jeans are my staples; and I inevitably FORGET my camera.

As a writer, I tend to compare myself to the likes of Laini Taylor who is colorful and fun.  NOT to mention her amazing books.  I love her writing and imagination.  Mine is much simpler.  Or Jane Austin.  Her wit and artistic words astound me.  If be as timeless as she.  Or Rick Riordan.  I love the "voice" of Percy and all the exciting action.

As a wife, I compare myself to several friends (of whom I won't mention here) who always seem to do it better than me.  More intimate dates.  More romantic surprises for their mates.  Letters of love.  And so forth and so on.

So I set myself against these people and look rather dim.  Why do we do that?  Why do we compare?  Is it a born competition?  I don't know.  But I've been stewing over that fact and coming to a decision that I want to let go.  Stop the set-ups!  After all, I will never be that other person or live their journey.  I can only be myself.  Flawed, unique, bumbling, excited and climbing forward.  Me in all of my me-ness.

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