What I Want My Children to Know

I want my children to know that they are:

1. Worthy ~ whatever the world says, I want you to know you are always worthy. Your worth doesn't lie in what others say about you or what they do. It lies in being human. You're worthy because you exist.

2. Capable ~ whether you feel it or not, you are capable. You are capable of adapting, of learning of doing new things, and of changing.

3. Inventive ~ you may not feel it sometimes, but you are inventive. You have billions of ideas and endless solutions hidden in your mind waiting to be uncovered.

4. Leaders ~ quietly or loudly, you are leaders. You have a troupe who learn from you and follow you. I want you to be brave enough to step up and lean into your leadership.

5. World changers ~ you already have a global prospective that I never had at your age and your compassion for others moves me. You have the ability to change things about the way you live, how you educate others and become activists to change the world.

6. Adaptable ~ sometimes life changes or we change and it may seem that changing is hard, but I want you to know you are adaptable. You will be able to change with change, regardless of how difficult it may be at the time. You will learn to adapt and with that, grow.

7. Growing ~ you have the ability to be ever growing in your love of others, your knowledge, your strength and your compassion. Don't stop. Push yourself in this area because it will season you and better your entire life.

8. Imaginative ~ you are bursting with creativity. I've seen it alive and blooming. Don't let it die. Add a little sprinkle of imagination in all you do, whether it's thinking outside the box at work or adding art and music to the world.

9. Beautiful ~ you are beautiful inside and out. Don't anyone or any social construct determine how you feel about yourself. Know that true beauty reaches farther than skin deep. Embrace the strengths you have and enjoy them.

10. Brilliant ~ no matter what grades you make/made or what judgement others pass on you, you are brilliant. I've seen your brilliance and can attest to it. You come up with solutions when none are there, you reach the inner pain of someone when no one else can, and you find laughter in the midst of sorrow. You are brilliant, use that brilliance to help others.

What would you add? What do you want the kids of this generation to know?

Why Do Women Stay Silent?

Why do women stay silent? 

I've wondered about this for awhile. I still struggle against it. Yesterday I had the perfect opportunity to speak up and didn't, then later wrestled with why I'd stayed silent. I know at times it's fear ~ of what others will think, of not knowing the right words, or of looking stupid. Sometimes it may be because of what we were taught about being ladylike. 

Things like:

*It's not ladylike to dominate the conversation.

*It's not ladylike to interrupt.

*It's not ladylike to share your opinions unless someone asks.

I don't know that I actually heard these things being said as much as I felt the expectations. I knew instinctively that it was more okay for the boys in class to share their opinion than the girls. I knew that I would be considered brazen in Sunday School to question the teacher and the lesson. 

I knew that being sweet was a girl's superpower and standing up for others didn't always look sweet.

Awhile ago I read Cheryl Sandburg's book, Lean In, where she observed women in meetings sitting in chairs around the room instead of sitting at the table. Meanwhile, the men took all the seats around the table. She addressed the gravity of this and how we need to learn to lean-in and lead to change the future.

I identified with her example. I had unknowingly done that many times. I think it was partly my lack of self-confidence to have anything significant to say, but it was also an underlying belief that those people sitting at the table were more important than me and anything they said would be more important than my words.

This is such a grave problem because if we as women don't step up and become leaders of today, our daughters, nieces  and friends will not know it's okay to do that tomorrow.

I recently read an article about Iceland women who all rallied together one day and walked off their jobs, whether in the work force or at home. It completely shut Iceland down. Businesses couldn't operate, schools couldn't function, and transportation couldn't run. Because of that one day and the significance it showed of life without women, they garnered pay increases and were the first democratic country to bring in a female president.

They not only spoke up, they walked out on their own security. They took a huge risk. I'm sure it was intimidating and terrifying to participate in something that might not have been encouraged by their bosses and families. 

But with their actions they spoke, and the country heard.

And while I may want to berate myself for not speaking up when the opportunity was there, I realize how much more aware I am of my silence. I'm learning to recognize when I'm quiet and question the reasons so I can get to the root of my fears. I have learned to speak much more than I used to and this skill will only grow with more awareness.

Let's encourage each other to stop being silent. Let's join together and speak up!