|My Favorite Four|
In the start of my young adult life I only dreamed of two seemingly simple things: someone to spend my life with, and children. I got both. Neither were simple.
Marriage doesn't guarantee being smitten for eternity. I assumed my husband would find me gorgeous in every circumstance. That he would swoon over my amazing intellect and stand with jaw-dropped at my unprecedented ideas. Not shockingly, that didn't play out. I've found marriage to be like a river. It can move rapid and give a thrill you never imagined possible. It can move so slow you're tempted to jump ship. It can twist to surprise you. It can drop into a wildly whirling bit of life and make you frantic to hang on.
My husband and I were warned before our wedding about the work involved in making a marriage succeed. But we were lovestruck and sure we wouldn't be those people--our love was so deep nothing would shake it.
Year One: Shaken.
In marriage, you come to know someone so well they become like a worn, comfortable shoe. And sometimes you forget to notice the design and unique make-up of it. You take it for granted. Then one day you go barefoot and realize how much you miss those shoes. You remember what a treasure you have, and vow never to take them for granted again. That scenario plays itself out over and over throughout marriage and each time, you get a little less vulnerable to forget.
Mothering isn't simple either. The innocence of a child can make you cry and their uncensored honesty can bring you to your knees. But, they're selfish too. Your own ticks and foibles show up everyday in little mirrors hanging onto your legs. You know you need to let go of selfishness to guide them into doing the same, but it isn't easy to get rid of.
Nothing is simple. It takes courage to walk in the reality of your dreams. I assume my future dreams will have their own reality. Until then, I'll rest in being naive.